Prime Minister David Cameron has today jumped on the Winter Olympic bandwagon to announce an ambitious plan to freeze flood-hit Somerset and turn it into thousands of curling rinks.
‘I’ve always been a big fan of curling,’ he declared shortly after Team GB won its second medal of the games ‘and I think it’s important that we secure the future of the nation’s favourite sport by creating adequate facilities for the curling champions of the future. Somerset’s got lots of water at the moment so it’s the obvious choice.’
Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond however claimed that the move showed that the Prime Minister was simply trying to prepare for Scottish independence. ‘When we vote ‘Yes’ Great Britain will find itself with no hope of curling medals whatsoever. Mr Cameron knows what a devastating effect this will have on his country’s morale. He won’t want to be remembered as the Prime Minister who let the chances of future curling gold disappear.’
Cameron denied this, but did admit that the plan would face difficulties. ‘We have no idea how we’re actually going to freeze an entire county, but to be honest we’ve no idea how to sort out the flooding either so it’s worth a try’ he said.