Standing at the mantelpiece in the great hall of his residence at Scone, the Scottish leader Mr Salmond refused to be drawn on suggestions that once Scotland was free from the English yoke, he would be King hereafter. "It's very flattering to be considered but I have no idea where this suggestion has come from" he blushed, whilst straightening his ermine tartan robes and fiddling with his sgian dubh.
"This is not about power, its not about being the most important person in the country, going to summits with other heads of state, having Mr and Mrs Obama to dinner, playing golf with former president Clinton and generally becoming the leading world figure I have always dreamed about. This is about what is best for the people of Scotland, for the thousands without work, on benefits and struggling to support their six children, alcoholism and drug habits on the pittance they receive from their English overlords. Our concerns are, and always have been, for the freedom and welfare of our beloved
subjects I mean people."