Since the dawn of time, or at least since the police started taking bribes, ancient man has asked - is there anything more evil than Rebekah Brooks? Now modern philosophers, through the scientific study of chicken entrails and James Murdoch's deleted emails, have managed to put a face to the riddle - Anthony Charles Lynton Blair; the first man to graft a hyena grin onto a human head.
The legal team for Mrs Brooks, accused of conspiracy, is expected to use the unique defence that 'knowing Tony Blair' led her astray. While News Corp editor's wilfully lied to, intimidated and corrupted the public; Mrs Brooks' lawyers feel that this is 'small fry' next to the warmongering, Mr. Blair. One lawyer explained: 'My client was an naive peddler of printed bile; so only moderately repugnant. But then she and Rupert Murdoch fell in with a bad crowd at No.10.'
Mr. Blair has already accumulated the dubious honour of being the first Prime Minister to be submit to police questioning, the first PM to list his official residence as 'the rectum of the President of the United States' and to be an even more annoying tennis player than Cliff Richard. A News UK (formerly News International) spokesmen said: 'Destroying individual lives and reputations is one thing, but even Rebekah Brooks would draw the line at misleading Parliament'. Rumour has it that even the Pope is thinking of excommunicating Mr. Blair. A Vatican official commented: 'The Catholic Church has its issues, but a malevolent reign of terror that dragged Europe into the Dark Ages has to be moderately better than New Labour'.