Alex Salmond has stated that he will not be bullied by the “anti-Scottish” Oxford English Dictionary with their "overtly English" definition of the word 'independence'.
“Under my definition of the word independence a ‘Yes’ vote means we stay completely independent from the UK, and when I say completely, I mean partly. And when I say partly, I mean we get to keep the good stuff. Anything other than that is just further evidence of English intimidation”.
It has been reported that in private negotiations with Westminster, Salmond’s version of independence includes ‘keeping Cornwall’ because it’s warmer and the beaches are nice. Cameron is believed to be considering this option if he can throw into the deal Somerset and Eric Pickles. Salmond is however keen for Scotland to adopt a new language, known as ‘Scottish’. This is expected to be identical to English.
If Scotland does gain independence it is speculated that Mr Salmond will adopt the slightly adjusted title of ‘The First Dictator of Scotland’ and will begin the process of joining the EU by first telling the member countries the conditions under which Scotland will remain independent from them. "Any attempt to prevent Scotland joining the EU on our terms would be further proof that the Scots are being 'picked on' by the other countries”.
In more recent days, Salmond has been critical of Westminster’s scare tactics that are "being used to manipulate the Scottish public into a ‘No’ vote". Deciding instead to take a more positive stance, Mr Salmond has said he will simply lay out the facts in his upcoming speech “Beware the English boot that wants to stamp on our wee bairns”.