There was tumult and fear in the land earlier today when a globe of fire appeared in the eastern skies and stayed there without interruption for much of the day. Village Headman Pik-Elz promptly issued a statement “The most prudent and sensible course of action will be for an immediate programme of Virgin Sacrifices. The Village Headman’s department would like to hear from comely maidens of Virtue true or young men of sixteen or more summers into World of Warcraft.”
Village Wise Man Goev The Questionable added to the fear and tumult engulfing the village by proclaiming whilst sat upon a throne of the living bodies of his counsellors “This is clearly the work of infidels and unbelievers who think they know better than me. Let a mighty wicker OFSTED inspector be built on the village green and let the faithless be incinerated. I am Goev. Goev has spoken.”
As crowds of villagers gathered around the split-level detached stockade of the Prince Cam-Run, the prince sent forth his Jester, Klegg to caper upon the battlements to divert the populace with his jests such as “Good people…why is government policy like unto blood from a stone? ….Why, in very truth, tis a complete bleedin’ mystery! ”
Whereon the people were sore displeased and didst pelt the wretched Klegg with half-filled sand bags and loose shingle. Whereon the Prince Cam-Run didst appear and reassure the people that Money was no object.