Despite the fact that Egham is mostly on a hill, flood waters have miraculously surrounded the town centre and are rapidly rising up the university buildings at Royal Holloway. Water levels have now reached critical point: students are having to swim to lectures in the Thames’ overflow.
“It must be an act of God” one student said. “Perhaps he is punishing us for our hedonistic lifestyles and borderline alcoholism”, spoken with a guilty tone. “How else could flood waters have risen up a big hill? Noah’s Ark definitely isn’t going to come and save a pair of students!” The hysteria continues.