Millions of people continue to live in places that outlaw same-sex relationships and prosecute people for being gay. In five countries and in parts of two others, homosexuality is still punishable with the death penalty, while a further 70 imprison citizens because of their sexual orientation.
These countries have all reported a sudden flood of enquiries from inhabitants of the Somerset levels, and Thames-side towns, currently suffering Apocalyptic scenes of inundation not experienced since the time of Noah.
"I'm not homophobic" said Glastonbury resident Shem Japhet, up to his armpits in sewage-ridden rainwater in his living room. "Some of my best friends buy Elton John records. But when that self-confessed sodomite Chris Smith came down here and just smirked at us with his great big gay, froggy grin, I dunno but I suddenly fancied living somewhere dry and straight like Iran, Mauritania, Saudi Arabia, Sudan or Yemen."