Yet again I have no stand-up gigs this weekend. That could be because:
a) I'm shit at it.
b) I live in the middle of nowhere with not much going on and I can't drive.
Have decided it's b - not being a shit stand-up would take too much effort - so I need to move back to London.
I need a luxury apartment inside the Circle Line with 24-hour porter, gym and spa on-site, balcony or roof garden with jaw-dropping vista, George Clooney to live next door and run out of coffee while he's having a dinner party, and a unicorn to ride round on. Was thinking £50 - £55 pcw for rent.
Anyone know of such a place?