Historian David Starkey has been awarded the "Hand Gestures Of The Year" award following his extraordinary performance on BBC Question Time this Thursday.
A spokesperson for the Hand Gesture Society (HGS) said, "Normally we wait until the end of the year, nominate five performances, and our members vote for the best, but this effort was so extraordinary we feel that process would just be a waste of time and energy. The way he waved those arms around and Karate chopped the desk spoke even louder than his high volume shouty voice. Every sweep of the arm was a work of art, making the statement "I am superior to you because I went to public school and was a privileged Oxbridge student." Every assault on the desk screamed "I know everything, you are plebs. Don't pollute my ears with your ill educated noises." The craftsmanship was immaculate."
Starkey, 134, would not lower himself to speak to journalists, but his spokesman (he doesn't employ spokeswomen because they may mess up) issued a statement on his behalf, saying "This award is useless. You're all idiots. Sell the trophy and burn the money. I don't need it."