Tube strike latest: London overrun by suicidal people with no means of ending it all
With the underground network brought to a standstill by industrial action, the streets of London are said to be backing up with depressives unable to end their lives in the traditional rush-hour fashion.
“God, I didn’t think I could feel any more depressed. Those tube drivers are so selfish,” said one suicidal man today. “I’d head for a multi-storey car park or a bridge over the Thames, but with the tube strike there’s no means of getting there. This has really ruined my day.”
Depressives are said to be walking around the capital disconsolately, with many queuing outside underground stations in the hope of being let in to end it all. Experts warn they may be difficult to distinguish from commuters.
Transport for London has warned travellers to expect long delays when tube services resume tomorrow evening.