Scarlett Johannsen may be the source of ‘industrial’ quanities of carbon dioxide, thanks to her long association with Sodastream. Feasibility studies are now under way to investigate whether the gas could be released and used to drive turbines and create energy. But the operation could become the centre of not one but two controversies. Fans of Ms Johansson said the exploration could result in a threat to her natural beauty. And anti-Israel activists say any gas naturally or unnaturally obtained from Ms Johansson rightly belongs to Palestinians, because it was created in the Occupied Territories of the West Bank.
Meanwhile, graphic artists working for the Sunday Times and ITV say they are ‘delighted’ with the prospect of creating ‘infographics’ showing how the gas might be released, with a system of hydraulics tunnelling deep into sub strata of the Golden Globe nominee and Woody Allen favourite in 3D. ‘This is a huge challenge,’ said graphic artist Mike Smith. We’ll have to simplify the process for lay people. But the main problem is to tastefully reflect that the gas may be harvested from either end of Ms Johansson, or for that matter any A list Hollywood star.
It’s understood the Godzilla Corporation, which makes monster movies as well as prospecting for sources of energy, may be interested in exploring other star actresses as sources of natural gases. Penelope Cruz and Angela Jolie are said to be in discussion with the company, while initial investigations of older actresses like Penelope Keith and that woman from Emmerdale reveal there could be ‘significant’ fossil fuels to be released alongside the C02.
One person who is delighted with the prospect is Sienna Miller’s father, a rural sustainable food manufacturer. ‘Renewables and showbiz are in the family DNA and Sienna is up for anything,’ said Windy Miller, of Camberwick Green. ‘Our local fire fighters have already done some 'kitchen table' investigations using small bore hoses usually deployed for allotment shed fires. All credit to Miss Lovelace and Dora Minton for putting up with the discomfort, though sadly yields have been low so far’.