The delicate balance of nature among humans is under threat after a male member of the species ate a bowl of Special K. John Beale, a painter and decorator from Barnsley , engaged in the abnormal behavior of eating a bowl of his wife's Special K's Red Berries before going to work today, claiming 'there was no other cereal in the house.'
The presence of only female cereals for the male's breakfast is believed to have disturbed the natural equilibrium of his habitat,resulting in the unforeseen activity of eating the cereal, and the unimaginable consequences that might arise as a result.
'Normally Special K is reserved for females,' said Dr Noel Barnes, an ecologist specialising in human lifeforms. 'They eat Special K during the Springtime so they can develop a desirable figure for the oncoming mating season of the summer. Provided they also consume enough Diet Coke and Muller Rice, and only eat Maltesers if they're feeling 'a bit naughty', they should entice a suitable partner to fertilise their eggs with and bare offspring. What compelled this male to eat female cereal remains a mystery at this stage.'
Although the human race's ecosystem is currently in a stable equilibrium, what triggered this new behavior has baffled many researchers, speculating that the delicate balance of nature may be disrupted if it spreads to other males. 'Men are not meant to be self conscious about their health,' he explained. 'They are supposed to relax, have a Marlboro cigarette and eat either a Snickers or Yorkie bar. Then wait for the Lynx effect to take hold and procreate the species. If this behavior continues , it could spread to other males and upset the balance of nature, with the risk of humans becoming endangered or face possible exctinction.'
'We're just hoping that when he raids the booze cabinet later tonight there isn't only West Coast Cooler available,' he added.