The minister for science and reducing education, Mr Wallets, is delighted to announce that the new model for UK science policy is taking effect. Mr Wallets was visiting Fogthorn College this week to open the new virtual school of radio science programming at the University of the Rest of England. Here, a suite of brand new computers, cleverly wired-up to a microphone was unveiled. It is widely acknowledged in the DoH that such cutting-edge science education is essential for preparing our next generation of STEM graduates for a career in consummer friendly science radio programmes. ‘’Whilst we are making terrific savings in our health service by privatising all essential pathology services, selling off the vital state energy supplies and closing down the unprofitable environment agencies, we can now boast that all the science needs of this country can be delivered via BBC Radio 4’’ siad Mr Walletts after a grinning on the podium with the University’s Professor of Outreach, R. Koch (prounounced Cox). ‘’We are a world leader in measuring our science output’’ said Mr Wallets, who was keen to point out how scared multidrug resistant bacteria were becoming at the thought of Stephen Fry doing a 6 part series on the use of disinfectants in the home.
‘’For too long we have had to put up with impenetrable economics reports on the Today programme’’ said one white Anglo-Saxon male student before being cut off by Kirsty Young, one of the course tutors ‘’That’s right, we can now compress nuclear physics to a sound bite no longer than the lifetime of a Boggs Hisson particle’’. After a phone-in debate with Julian Worriker on the availability of aromatherapy treatments for malaria, the event was closed with a raffle opened for a set of teak laboratory benches that were coming available from the old chemistry labs.
The new BA (Hons) course will be available as a pdf from the URE at standard course rates for UK students from September.
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Universities to change science degree award to BA (Hons)
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Robert Koch
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Dick Everyman
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