Rock fans and devotees of ‘girls jiggling’ were left furious, as the coverage of Super Bowl XLVIII was disrupted by twenty two men invading the pitch at MetLife Stadium; armed with motorcycle helmets, an excess of testosterone and one misshapen football. Eighty two thousand witnesses attest to seeing the Red Hot Chili Peppers forced from the stage and replaced with some kind of ‘girly rugby’ which ‘dragged on for ages’.
Claims that this was a meaningful sporting event were quickly contradicted by the 43-8 scoreline. In fact, residents of Denver who had tuned in to watch Bruno Mars belt out his hit (‘all one of them’) were surprised to see their city being mocked by a motley of collection ‘athletes’ with over-excited pituitary glands and a high incidence of positive drug testing.
The pyrotechnic-filled show was soon eclipsed by on pitch violence disguised as ‘some sort of sport’. As one music journalist complained: ‘People paid good money to see pop stars, cheerleaders and Janet Jackson’s nipple. What they don’t expect to see, is a wrestling match between owners of second-rate degrees, pants so tight that Mick Jagger would blush or Pete Carroll twerking on the touchline’.