After the delivery of a minsterial attache case containing an 11lb tuna to the headquarters of Ofsted, it has been confirmed by sources at the Department of Education that the Chair of Ofsted, Labour Peer Baroness Morgan "Ain't gonna be around no more. Capisce?"
The departure of Baroness Morgan comes hard on the heels of the removal of non-Conservative members from the Arts Council and the Charities commission. Senior Labour and independent members of both bodies have variously been reported to have been cemented into a New Jersey expressway and fed into an industrial meat-grinder in a Bronx warehouse.
Questioned about the removal of Baroness Morgan, the minister of Education, Alphonse "Scarface" Gove replied "Fuhgeddaboutit." Mr Gove was also reticent about reports that he was attempting to heal the rift between himself and Ofsted Chief Inspector Sir Michael Wilshaw by inviting Sir Michael to a "Sitdown" at Papa Giuseppe's Old-Timey Sicilian Pizzeria in Little Italy where, earlier, an adviser from right-leaning think tank CosaNostra Policy Forum was found taping a snub-nosed Smith & Wesson under the cistern in the mens lavatories.
Mr Gove halted further questions by gesturing to have his Consigliere slowly slowly close the door of his office while a kneeling PPS kissed his hand with all respect to the lyrical sounds of a pastorale played on a Mandolin.