The Association of Chinese Homeopaths has announced that according to its calendar the new year will be the year of the amoeba. The Association, which has six members, controversially closed its doors to the potential 1.4 billion Chinese people eligible to join, despite applications from three more people. “The only way we will stay effective is for the number of Chinese homeopaths to represent an almost infinitesimal number of the total population,” said Shuo Tang, the Association’s President.
The ceremonial Amoeba was yesterday paraded through the streets of Shanghai on a tiny petri dish, surrounded by a one man dragon, and a very quiet little firecracker. The membership then shared a traditional banquet of one grain of rice.
Amoeba are traditionally known for their strength and patience, although they can be lacking in imagination and sometimes fail to see the funny side of life. Their best trait is their generosity and they have a special love of water.