Earlier today, Bank of England governor Mark Carney invited fury north of the border, saying in a speech that he 'would take The Pound in, so no one could use it', rather than share it with an independent Scotland. Carney said that, in a Pound sharing arrangement, the Scots would wish to take The Pound with them back to Edinburgh for a few months every year, at which point they'd refuse to 'play properly' with it. 'They might start playing catch with it or rolling it around on the floor. It's my Pound and I won't let them spoil it.' When asked what grounds he had for such a fear, Carney is said to have put his fingers in his ears and shouted 'La-la-la-la-la-can't hear you, can't hear you'. The Pound is traditionally kept in the Bank of England, and is about three times the size of an ordinary pound, which is used on the high street to buy ordinary goods, such as fish fingers and glue. It's value is used to determine how much our currency is worth abroad, and insiders say it is feared that the Scots wouldn't know how to use it properly. One figure close to the governor stated, 'when he wants the value of The Pound to rise, the governor just looks at it for a bit. After a minute, it begins to glow and levitate off of his desk, making a humming noise like this - hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmn - which shows that it's working. I bet the Scots couldn't make it do that.'
Carney threatens to 'take The Pound in' to stop Scots playing with it
(2 posts) (2 voices)
lovely idea and I really like the first bit
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