Monkeys used for research in Oxford's animal laboratory are getting so brainy they will soon be running the University.
'It's their close contact with so many intelligent people', said one researcher. 'It won't be long before we'll have a macaque Stephen Hawking giving lectures.'
An orang-utan Provost is said to be close.
'I'm not surprised by this,' said an Oxford University admissions tutor. 'We've been aware for some time that the monkeys - and even some mice - are a lot smarter than our students.'