Don't know if this forum is for Brits only or whether on occasional bit from across the pond is welcome.
And BTW, that "colonist", not "colon-ist"...not that there's anything wrong with that.
dt
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Don't know if this forum is for Brits only or whether on occasional bit from across the pond is welcome.
And BTW, that "colonist", not "colon-ist"...not that there's anything wrong with that.
dt
More than welcome :D
Welcome; not everyone here is British, it just seems that way. There's a couple of guys from the East Coast, Australian & New Zealand.
And, as from a year's time we may well have foreigners from Scotchland.
You list your occupation as comedian. You may be over-qualified ;-)
Coloin-ist would have been useful.
We have one gentleman whose ass continually hurts...I believe he's from Boston.
We did have an American who lived in Turkey but we drove her away!
Only advice dt is to read the guidlines and try and adjust to the style of the front page rather than hoping any previous writing will make the editor change the style to fit your writing.
What is the style of the front page?
CLICK HERE
To save you going looking for it.
I think the proper word is "colonial". I also live in the US, and I throw up a little in the back of my mouth every time someone uses "across the pond". Just an FYI.
Speaking of colons, I'm going for my very first colonoscopy tomorrow. No one ever told me how much fun getting older is!
All welcome here deeptrout. Your stuff looks very good and should start getting used soon. There's a few Americanisms you use that don't apply (e.g. starting the story with the location in brackets) but nothing terminal. Just read the guidelines and look at the style of recent FPs; they vary slightly but within certain parameters.
Hitherto, we've had one American whose ass always hurts and another whose ass is variously inflatable and/or like a watermelon. What is it with you lot and asses? And please don't threaten to sue mine...
Thanks for the link, it was helpful.
Rikkor
I had my second colonoscopy on 12th January.
Watched it all unfold on TV too
I was driving so had to miss out on sedation - which isn't recommended.
It's not so bad once they get underway.
As with most of these things, it's the worry beforehand rather than the actual procedure.
It's only like going to the dentist...just a not very good one.
Don't forget to tell us how your ass gets on.
Hmmm, no, no. Colonial is an adjective, let me see if I can illustrate the differences between the derivatives of colony.
"Colonialist England exemplified its colonial policies by settling colonists in its colonies."
I'm not sure if I got that right...
Rikkor, take the sedative. There are certain things a man might not want to see, hear or feel.
Rikkor: Colonoscopy: Bon chance. As I am of a certain age and have stopped smoking, my doctor decided I would be a suitable candidate to fill his quota for colon screening - the bastard! Doesn't hurt a bit apart from when they inflate your Sigmund colon which hurts like very bad trapped wind. One tip: Don't be polite and try to hold it in. Let it blow back at them - they knew what they were doing! Too much information? Here's more: If the operator offers to snip a little hemorrhoid off while he/she's about it, tell her/him to f*ck right off and leave your ass alone. Have fun!
Gero: You were driving!!! I was lying down and that was bad enough. Watched it through my fingers. If there had been a sofa I would have watched from behind it.
People have been known to post their 'colon investigation' video on YouTube.
To be honest once you've seen 20-25 videos the colons all start to look the same.
Go for an angiogram instead - no pain and more entertaining to watch your own heart beating and its valves going "flappity flap" in real time.
Mind you, I suppose there are some people who get off on gazing up their own arses ...
Thanks, boys. I'm sunk if they find Simon Cowell's class ring up there. Gerry, how can you have a colonoscopy while driving? It must be a very large car.
Welcome Deeptrout - the more bolshie colonials the better.
Never mind that Gero was driving, I've seen lorry drivers do worse. I am more worried that he sat through 25 other peoples colon videos.
o.0
Geri, I think you should check your dentist's credentials if he's doing that.
Just a thought. I wonder if it's possible to have an endoscope inserted at the same time as a colonoscope? A kind of medicated spitroast. Would the cameras be able to look at each other and wink?
I think I've seen this video.
The plumber spills coffee all over the pretty young Swedish housewives new dress and they have to go through that whole scenario just to get the stain out.
Crazy...but to be fair it did get rid of the stain.
Crazy...but to be fair it did get rid of the stain.
I did some research prior to going in. Watch the first half a minute of Lynn Foulds Wood and then decide if you really want to see the rest! oooph!
Hey maybe that's the new celebrity reality show. Let's go....Thrououough the areshole! (C Roger Melly)
As long as you don't belong to the Tea party.
I could see Jim Davidson winning that one too.
I've always found the name "Lynne Foulds Wood" absolutely hilarious, for many obvious reasons.
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