A British Museum expert has revealed that some people may have imagined an imaginary boat to be a different shape to that imagined by other people.
After deciphering 4,000 year-old clay tablets, Professor Finky found that they contained instructions for building Noah's ark – and it's round.
The ark-construction plans needed an expert to read them as they are in Babylonian cunnyform, so called as only twats can read it.
Luckily the Professor is such a twat, claiming that “I'm 107% convinced the ark never existed”, despite knowing that he can't be more than 100% convinced.
The news of the round ark has caused outrage from religious loonies around the world. As a spokesman for the Westboro Baptist church told us:
“There's no way all the millions of pairs of animals needed to repopulate the entire world could happily co-exist in a boat that's little more than an oversized bowl. It's ridiculous.”
“The Bible clearly states that the ark was the much more sensible, traditional ship-shape of 300 cubits long, 50 wide and 30 high, with 3 floors. If we start doubting that where will it end?”
“Before long we won't believe in any of the Bible, or even that there's a nice invisible bloke in the sky looking after us, and then the faggots, ragheads and goddam Richard Dawkins have won.”
Professor Finky claims that this won't be the last revelation to stun the world of make-believe.
Other Babylonian tablets show that Jack originally traded his cow for magic turnips, Harry Potter's Owl was thought to be a pigeon and that it was once widely believed that Nick Clegg had principles.
“But that was just a crazy belief, never believed to be literally true” assures the bearded cuneilinguist.