Avian weather experts are becoming increasingly baffled by human evidence of an early spring. Human-watchers everywhere have been tweeting abnormal activity, with evidence of inept hominid nest-building as early as last week.
Normally humans are not observed up ladders brandishing silicone sealant until late March at the earliest, with the real frenzy beginning in May. However, over the last two weeks, the instant the sun comes out the humans have all their windows open and the ladders out. This behavior has is causing concern among climatologists.
Experts are divided over evidence that human weather forecasting may have improved dramatically since 1987. While people still seem to don unsuitable feathers, or shed them getting their skin all pink, they are becoming increasingly competant in judging when to fiddle with their nests. If not necessarily where to build them in the first place.
Many humans are gregarious and willing to build or improve the nests of others, and are known as 'white van' humans. This sub-species is often noted to be more efficient at nest-building, but worse at driving. Spring usually starts formally when the white vans converge on industrial sites followed by honking queues of family cars sporting bungees and blue string. Humans increasingly store communal nesting material in large orange buildings, with inadequate carparks.
Abnormal migratory patterns have emerged over the last couple of years, with a surprising number of Polish nest-builders alighting in the UK to work on the nests of the indigenous species. In some instances, these Polish and eastern-european migrants have been seen to over-winter in the UK, and even settle permanently.
Inexperienced songbirds cheered by the recent human activity and attendant swearing, are being counselled against bursting into song and nesting prematurely. To quote an eminent meterological spokesfowl: 'One prat up a ladder doth not a summer make. It might be an indicator of an early spring. Or another bloody hurricane on the way.'