The Bank of Toyland should be made to sell off its one and only branch, claims a self-employed taxi driver who goes under the name of Noddy. The news will come as a welcome boost to Labour leader Ed Miliband.
Noddy took out a loan to buy his bright yellow open-top cab forty years ago at a fixed rate of one shiny coin per week, but due to the high interest rates levied by the bank he hasn't actually paid off a single penny of the capital. "I bought the vehicle for forty shiny coins but now I owe the bank fifty shiny coins and it really makes me very cross," explained the rather youthful-looking bob-hatted blue collar worker, shaking his head in despair.
Recently the bank called in a two-figure loan made to market trader Dinah Doll. With no more coins to buy in stocks of muffins and tat, the single mother has been forced to cease trading and look for other avenues of employment. She now works part-time for oddly-misnomered Mr Wobbly Man.
"BOT is the only financial institution in Toyland and we're all entirely reliant upon it"' added Village Elder and self-appointed local community leader 'Big Ears'. "But since it was taken over by those naughty goblins Sly and Gobbo, things have got worse. All they do is pay themselves more and more, while doing less and less for us. Every lunchtime you can see them buying ice-creams from Miss Pink Cat's stall - even on a chilly day. That stinks of sheer decadence and it's time they were taught a lesson. We're all in favour of Miliband's plan - whoever he is."
Meanwhile, cash-strapped Noddy must ask the garage owner to wait one more week to be paid for the new headlamp he fitted a month ago.
The garage man is sympathetic but his patience is wearing thin. "Well OK, seeing as it's you, Noddy. But the name's Sparks, not Wonga."