Former US clown chief Robert Gates has said that UK cutbacks has affected it's ability to play a full role in the world of physical comedy. Mr Gates commented; "I understand that the UK is down to 2 clown cars; enough to transport a mere 30 clowns. Some of their shoes have been reduced to size 20 and buckets of gunk are having to be rationed."
"Uncle Chuckles" (real name, Coco Kustardpi) agreed; "The clowning industry is down 5% in real terms. I have a carpool with 23 others on the way to kids' parties, and I've had to take a part time job as Chief Secretary to the Treasury to make ends meet."