Leading academics researching pyramids in Egypt have now confirmed that the structures were not used to pay homage to ancient gods and rulers, and were most likely built to accommodate the first generation of call centre workers in the ancient kingdom.
Professor Nigel Blaine from the Egyptology Faculty at Durham University thinks that ancient carvings depicted on pyramid walls were in-fact reminders to staff of the processes to follow when encountering difficult customers "The donkey leading the cat is not a symbolic gesture to parody the inverse relationship in intelligence between the creatures, but is more likely to portray the customer as an annoying twat preventing the call centre worker from enjoying a fag break."
The expression "Hello it's Cleopatra from Cairo calling to see if you have had an accident and could claim compensation if you've been bitten by an Asp" is now thought to be the first call centre message ever relayed and is in-line for a special award at the Call Centre Expo 2014 to be held in Birmingham in August. Unfortunately the original caller, Dilip from Mumbai could not be contacted to claim the award since he died 5000 years ago.
"Of course we now appreciate that the modern telephone had not been invented and that the real reason for carved slits in the pyramid structures were not, as first thought to allow the pharoes to experience sunlight on their eternal journeys, and were really there to allow the call centre workers to shout at customers from a safe vantage point; a bit like the secure kiosk at Bargain Booze in Redcar."
"Modern call centres have changed much since the Egyptian period, and they can no longer be compared against the cruel, heartless, sterile and squalid fixtures we have today" added Professor Blaine.