ITV countered immediately by commissioning ‘I’m A Celebrity Sex Offender, Get Me Out Of Here!’
Set in Alcatraz Prison to maximise transatlantic audience saturation, contestants will arrive in high-security prisoner transportation vans and the welcoming audience will consist of their victims, families and friends.
Following a humiliating grilling from Jeremy Kyle, the contestants will enter Alcatraz one by one to acclimatise themselves to their surroundings and get to know each other.
The tasks are a closely-guarded secret, but one is said to involve bending over to pick up bars of soap in the showers.
“If the viewers like the format, the way things are going we should have enough contestants for years to come!” exclaimed ITV’s Head of Advertising, excitedly.
One of the potential contestants denied he had been contacted to appear on the show: “Even though I was found guilty I am innocent” he said “but if the money’s right I’ll do ’Celebrity Sex Offender Love Island’ and it could help re-launch my career.”
The BBC said it will wait for viewing figures before considering ‘Celebrity Sex Offender Masterchef’ or ‘Celebrity Sex Offender Mastermind’.