A team of hirsute scientists and adventurers has returned from a six month trek of the British Isles in search of inexpensive razor blades. The expedition, which was jointly sponsored by the Disney Corporation and the Church of latter Day Saints, hoped to source affordable blades for men as part of a world-wide anti-poverty campaign.
Team leader, Dr Crispin McDowell said, “Despite months of planning and research our expedition failed to locate any blades below £12.99 apart from the common Bic and own-branded cartridge sets. We got frustratingly close to the elusive Gillette mach3 in one location but at over £20.00 a packet we had to admit defeat and leave it where it was.”
During the expedition the team experienced many life threatening situations. After inadvertently halting their team of huskies in a disabled parking bay at Tesco in Norfolk they were set upon by a rabid pensioner armed with a metal stick. Another incident occurred at a self-checkout counter at a Sainsbury’s store in Fleetwood. A large woman in leggings accused the team of queue jumping, in what was subsequently seen as an instinctive attempt to protect her young.
The team has detailed its findings in a special report in The Grocer and to money saving expert Martin Lewis who is said to be ‘livid.’
Dr McDowell is currently in talks with National Geographic to fund an all-female team in a quest for inexpensive pads and tampons.