Middle-aged balding men contemplate move to France
(8 posts) (6 voices)
Precisely. Plenty of fatal women over here.
Middle-aged balding men contemplate moving to France[b]
Thousands upon thousands of middle-aged balding men have revealed their sudden openess to moving to France, reports revealed earlier today.
After French Prime Minister Francois Hollande allegedly conducted an affair with a glamorous actress almost 20 years his junior, and was greeted with casual indifference by the French public, many 50-something males have sparked a renewed interest in travelling across the border.
'I'd move there for more than the weather,' said Dave Allen, a mechanic from Barnsley who has yet to have an illicit affair with any alluring filmstar. 'They seem pretty keen over there, if ya get my drift!I used to think them French sorts wouldn't touch me with a bargepole, attached onto another bargepole, but if whats-his-name(Hollande) can get all the birds I may as well give it a go.'
Coupled with the optimism among unattractive older men is the frustration that he actually might get away with this. 'The jammy bastard,' spoke one retired plumber from Basingstoke. 'I get the silent treatment if I dare look at Caroline Flack the wrong way on the X Factor. I mean calm down love I'm pretty sure she's happy shagging Harry Styles-or whatever his name is- and she won't be asking round for me anytime soon.'
'Just because you're not eating doesn't mean you can't have a look at the menu,' he added with a slightly disturbing wink.
For many men, even the delusional ones, it is a fine balance between their contempt for France and Frenchmen and their lust for young, glamorous French women.
Middle-aged balding men contemplate career move to senior politician.
What other kind of politician is there? I mean, real politicians, not women.
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