The British Government has been forced to apologise for the drafting of the Terrorism Act 2000, which has resulted in the arrest of the entire United Kingdom.
Under Section 1 of the Act, "terrorism" is defined as an action which involves the use of firearms or explosives, or creates a serious risk to the health and safety of the public in any country in the world. This action must be designed to influence the government of any country, or intimidate a section of the public in any country, and must be for the purpose of advancing a political, religious, racial or ideological cause.
Unfortunately, the actions of the UK armed forces in using firearms to influence the governments of Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya (and a few others) in order to advance the UK government's political agenda, has resulted in the entire UK armed forces being guilty of terrorism under their own laws.
Similarly, their use of firearms to intimidate sections of the public, namely the Taliban and the Real IRA, again for the purpose of furthering their own political agenda, has also been a completely illegal act of terrorism.
The UK Government and Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, have, accordingly, been arrested on charges of directing and instigating acts of terrorism, and the UK exchequer fund was due to be seized as potential terrorist assets until police discovered that there was no money left in it. Desperate to take action, the police began enthusiastically arresting thousands of benefits claimants, on the grounds that they had received proceeds of crime from the UK's terrorist activities, but then the police were all forced to arrest themselves when they realised that their wages came from the same source.
The fire brigade then attempted to take over the police's work but, as they were unable to be paid from public funds, they went on strike. They were all subsequently arrested as terrorists by a mob of anti-terrorist vigilantes as their decision to go on strike had created a serious risk to the health and safety of the public, was designed to influence the government into giving them money and was to try and advance their own political cause.
The anti-terrorist vigilantes subsequently walked along a public road and were arrested by concerned members of the public for using property likely to be of use in terrorism, as the road had been used to transport members of the UK armed forces in the past.
The concerned members of the public then had to all lock themselves up for the offence of funding terrorism as a result of having paid their taxes to the government. "I, for one, feel a lot safer now that everyone is locked up," said David McKenzie from Aberdeen. "That was the point of the Terrorism Act, wasn't it?"