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Flood warning - Pah!

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Started 3 months ago by beau-jolly
Latest reply from Son of Barnabas

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beau-jolly

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What's that you say? Don't go out? Floods in Dorset upgraded to "killer"?
Hah! it takes more than that to stop me. Yesterday I decided that I needed to drive diagonally across Dorset collecting stock from various local suppliers as I went. I ended up in lovely Lyme Regis. After collecting a few cases of Mighty Hop beer I, like every one else, headed down to The Cob to watch the waves battering the sea wall. The radio was broadcasting "Don't go near it" messages so everyone did - obviously. I had my posh camera and hoped to take a dramatic photo but the tide was out and it was all very tame - apart from the wind. I should have heeded the warnings. The wind blew my legs from under me so I now have a big bruise on my arse.

Incidentaly on the way back I had just driven from Dorchester to Blandford when the radio told me the road I was on was closed. Luckily I didn't know that so I avoided taking a dangerous diversion which would have sent me into the swollen Stour.

Anyone else got a flood/storm horror story?

Posted 3 months ago #
Dick Everyman

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Anyone else got a flood/storm horror story?

I went for a walk in Shropshire this morning. With all the surface water around the bloody farmers had churned up the footpath with their tractors and my new walking boots got absolutely filthy!

Posted 3 months ago #
MADJEZ

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I went to Wales and there was torrential rain, flooding and loss of life. Though that's what you get for holidaying in Brecon in August !

Posted 3 months ago #
Titus

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"Yesterday I decided that I needed to drive diagonally across Dorset ..."

What do you think you are, a bishop?

Posted 3 months ago #
KateWritesStuff

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On the way from Blandford to Yeovil on Saturday to watch the football, we got stuck 3/4 of a mile outside Bishop's Caundle and had to turn back. Yeovil won 4-0 after a losing streak, and all I could do was listen to it on a crackly radio whilst holding the aerial out of the window.

Also, walking the dog is like competing in a total wipeout style contest. THE HORROR! I don't even have any Hunter wellies to show off.

Posted 3 months ago #
Titus

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I guess the secret of walking a dog in this weather is to have a very heavy, waterproof one to use as an anchor.

Posted 3 months ago #
AReader

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I lost my job

Posted 3 months ago #
Ironduke

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You're not Michael Fish, are you?

Posted 3 months ago #
beau-jolly

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Lost it AR or just mislaid it? What happened? Do tell. We'll be sympathetic. Unless it's really funny.

@Titus: hahaha. I imagine it would have taken forever if I had decided to go by knight.

Posted 3 months ago #
Son of Barnabas

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If you are Michael Fish, no doubt you can spend a bit more time on the golf course...

Cod for tee?

Posted 3 months ago #
Midfield Diamond

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As KateWritesStuff found, Dorset is generally ok until you approach the bits close to the border with mostly-underwater Somerset. My village a few miles north of Yeovil was cut off for a while on Saturday and the A303 was 'passable with care' after some numpty broke down in the shallow end, I mean outside lane, of a flood across the road. Sadly, most of the floods are now receding which means I have no excuse to avoid going to work.

I trust that KateWritesStuff is a suitably superstitious football fan and realises her predicament on Saturday was 'lucky' for the team. Yeovil may never score four again unless she re-enacts the exact sequence of events for every game from now on. If they get relegated, we will all know who to blame.

Posted 3 months ago #
bonjonelson

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I turned on the TV news today, and much to my horror it was still full of yokels moaning about how wet their fields are.

Seriously, if they can't be bothered to dig proper drains it's their own lookout...

Posted 3 months ago #
beau-jolly

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MD The only flood I had to ford was in a village just north of Yeovil. Can't recall the name but I was coming from Queen's Camel and heading towards Yeovil. I was sitting contemplating it when a car took a run-up from the other direction and hit he water at about 40mph. A 4x4 decided to go from my direction at the same time. It was like the parting of the Red Sea and I skipped quickly across while the water was returning from the hedges.

I should also mention that you are assuming Kate supports Yeovil...Just sayin'

Posted 3 months ago #
Midfield Diamond

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That'll be Mudford, bj. Usually navigable in the middle of the road until someone breaks down in the flood, blocking the road completely. Often some idiot who follows a 4x4 into it ...

And if a Brighton fan can admit living in Queen Camel without drawing oh-so-humorous homophobic remarks, that was the village that got cut off for a few hours. The locals reckon they flood Queen Camel to save Ilchester, don't know how true that is.

And Yes, I'm assuming that Kate is a lady of taste and therefore supports the biggest team in the West Country rather than the smallest in the East Country (never liked Leyton Orient or their odious chairman Barry Hearn).

Posted 3 months ago #
beau-jolly

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Mudford! I should have been able to remember that!
I have my house wine stored with Quantock Abbey Wine Cellars at Western Bampfylde so I get up there quite a lot. I generally go straight back to Shaftesbury but on this occation I decided to pick up some Cider Brandy and Chilli Cider from Bridge Farm, East Chinnock (Nigel is so busy making cider he can't deliver). Then on to Lyme Regis for Mighty Hop brewery via the re-opened Beaminster Bridge. I could have collected some Black Cow Milk Vodka from Childhay Manor but that was supposed to be on its way already. I used to pick up some Furleigh Estates sparkling wine from Salway Ash near Bridport as well but now it's in London City Bond I can have it delivered cheaper! Amazing how much good stuff is produced down our way though ain't it? Just waiting for Tarquin Leadbetter's Cornish Pastis and we'll back up to speed.

Posted 3 months ago #
Ironduke

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You may find it more convenient to keep your house wine in your house. Works a treat for me. I can recommend the fridge for white, the cupboard under the stairs for red and an ostentatious shelf in visitor's eyeline for anything with a sparkly tint, or that actually has a date printed on the bottle. It's a sure sign its proper upmarket, that.

Posted 3 months ago #
Midfield Diamond

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Our village made the local paper:

Posted 3 months ago #
beau-jolly

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Ooher. That's not a hearse is it? I'm guessing the hole would probably be a bit watery too.

Posted 3 months ago #
Squudge

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despite my seemingly unsympathetic sub this week, I have been spending rather a lot of time tumble-drying old towels and generally trying to dry bits of my house out.

Floods round our way have been mainly the sort that draw in photographers, rather than the life-threatening variety, but I have done a few 'dam-busters' impressions in my old landrover on the A30. It doesn't have a flood-pack, so I only have a few inches advantage.

Posted 3 months ago #
Titus

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"Ooher. That's not a hearse is it? I'm guessing the hole would probably be a bit watery too."

I am minded of the chaotic funeral scene which flashes on the screen following the look of horror on Father Ted's face as Mrs Doyle says "Shure, and whit could go wrong wid' a funeral?" after she announces that, due to the unavailability of any other priest, Douglal has been sent to conduct a funeral.

Posted 3 months ago #
Squudge

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ah yes... Dougal's doing a funeral

Posted 3 months ago #
Titus

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Thank you for that, Squudge. One of my favourite Father Ted moments. All the funnier because it was so brief* - they didn't labour it or try to milk the laughs, as they frequently do in some of the more flat-footed comedy shows.

[*Less that 30 seconds - I wonder how long that one very brief but brilliant shot took and how much it cost to write, plan, rehearse, arrange, shoot and edit?]

Posted 3 months ago #
Son of Barnabas

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Squudge - sorry to hear about your flooding problems.
By the way, does your name describe the sound made by your welly boots as you trail through the mud?

Posted 3 months ago #
Midfield Diamond

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No, it wasn't a hearse, just a Vauxhall people-carrier thing (Zafira is it?). Presumably without the optional snorkel attachment.

Posted 3 months ago #
Midfield Diamond

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True story about Muchelney, the village on the Somerset Levels that was on all the news as various newscasters were filmed travelling there by boat. The locals are so used to flooding there that most have their own boats; it really isn't big news to them.

Anyway, the Super Soaraway Sun decided to 'help' the citizens by hiring a boat of their own and taking a Page 3 Stunna to Muchelney to hand out free copies of the Sun and four-packs of beer. Rather pleasingly, they were sent back to whence they came as no-one there was in the least bit interested. And strangely, the Sun made no mention of it.

Posted 3 months ago #
Squudge

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@MD - must have been rubbish beer then.

@SoB - no, that would be more of a 'Spletch'

Posted 3 months ago #
writinginbsl

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having been to the somerset levels i would categorise them as 'a bit rum'

(along with plymouth, portland and any co-op store you care to name)

(ps-kate-if you have that problem with bishops caundle again, go via milborne port)

Posted 3 months ago #
Son of Barnabas

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Blandford Forum to Bishops Caundle via Milborne Port... sounds like something out of Lord of the Rings.

Posted 3 months ago #

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