In the light of the latest storm over the holiday period, the Met Office has finally issued its first ASBO of the millenium. A spokesman explained "We have issued severe weather warning after severe weather warning. Nothing has worked."
After at least three 'storm of the Century' weather systems within as many weeks, old folks who were looking forward to tedious reminiscing are becoming worried.
Reginald Shutterworth, 56, of Chipping Sodbury said, "In the old days it was simple, we could speak of 'The Great Storm'. Then, if there were a couple within a decade or so you could add the year. Now we have 'The Great Storm of a week last Tuesday, the Great Storm on Friday after Christmas, the Great Storm on New Years Day and That One Four Days Later'. This could make being annoying confusing."
The Met Office have agreed that the timing of the most severe storms has been deemed just plain antisocial, falling over the busiest travel day before Christmas and on New Years Day. The public have had enough and are demanding action, prompting the Met Office to issue the ASBO against the weather itself. 'Before David Cameron says we aren't doing enough.'
The recipient of the previous Weather ASBO was the unfortunate forecaster and hurricane denier Michael Fish. He was known for his exploits in the 1980's as 'Rant Boy' and is still largely unrepentant and denies his offences, despite there being millions of witnesses. He has since scraped a living from his notoriety, but remains bitterly resentful that a mainstream career of respectability has been denied him. "Bastards." he retorted, in a recorded statement, "You call this a hurricane?".