Forum

The NewsBiscuit Community

Sign up or log in - lost password?

Username
Password

Remember me

Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten

1. 

   Doctor Moptop
   

   offline

   Member

   I've recently had death threats from a Disgruntled Poet. His use of the Anglo-Saxon vernacular was less than poetic - after duck, muck and luck what else have you got?

   Is it only poets who get this exercised about writing?

   Posted 2 years ago #
2. 

   Doctor Moptop
   

   offline

   Member

   P.S. This is my version of breaking the tension.

   It goes down a treat at awkward bar mitzvahs, frosty cocktail parties and departmental staff meetings.

   Posted 2 years ago #
3. 

   rikkor
   

   offline

   Member

   Puck? Cluck?

   Posted 2 years ago #
4. 

   Hunter F. Thompson
   

   offline

   Member

   chuck
   truck
   puck
   luck
   tuck
   muck
   shuck
   buck
   ruck

   .....quite a lot, really. And yes: poets are thoroughly exercised by language because they have discovered that people who can't parse a sentence can't actually think. Also, there is a wayward strain to modern poetry - deplored as early as 1923 by P.G. Wodehouse - which sets a mental scene among personal points of reference which are are extremely remote for most readers. (PS: "nonsense".)

   They also become white hot with rage at Bill Gates' spelling; few go postal, however.

   Posted 2 years ago #
5. 

   arrghgarry
   

   offline

   Member

   chuck
   truck
   puck
   luck
   tuck
   muck
   shuck
   buck
   ruck

   don`t forget wuck is suck too rude and cuck socker

   Posted 2 years ago #
6. 

   sauce
   

   offline

   Member

   Poets are strange people, Moppy.

   Posted 2 years ago #
7. 

   MrChigleysAunt
   

   offline

   Member

   "All poets are mad" to quote someone whose name escapes me.

   Posted 2 years ago #
8. 

   Scroat
   

   offline

   Member

   Amok...

   Posted 2 years ago #
9. 

   sauce
   

   offline

   Member

   Right, on the subject of poetry, who's coming to Ledbury in a few weeks time? I'll be reading something suitably pastoral, fragrent and idyllic again (JP was there for "In the Cuntry" [sic] last year, though he claimed he was just reading porn in the internet cafe). I'm working on something a tad more risque this year. If it's not finished in time I'll be bitching about yummy mummies from the POV of a zombie mommie.

   And I promise not to make any death threats. At least to biscuiteers.

   Posted 2 years ago #
10. 

    Mr.3374
    

    offline

    Member

    I'll e-mail the link to this thread to 50c who is right out of rhymes again.

    Posted 2 years ago #
11. 

    The All New Jeni B
    

    offline

    Member

    Kerplunk?

    Posted 2 years ago #
12. 

    Doctor Moptop
    

    offline

    Member

    Kerpluk, possibly ...

    So, imagine how this was explained to a bored police officer - "A poet's sending me death threats, Constable."

    "This isn't Midsommer, Miss."

    Posted 2 years ago #
13. 

    Quaz
    

    offline

    Member

    It seems to me that poets are mostly people who don't have enough friends to form a band and can't play an instrument to accompany themselves.

    Posted 2 years ago #
14. 

    The All New Jeni B
    

    offline

    Member

    Careful Quaz, sauce'll 'ave you for that!

    Posted 2 years ago #
15. 

    Quaz
    

    offline

    Member

    I will admit to seeking out Attila the stockbroker at Glastonbury one year. Check out "Russians are running the DHSS" (very 1980s).

    http://www.myspace.com/attilastockbroker

    Posted 2 years ago #
16. 

    arrghgarry
    

    offline

    Member

    I like the Attilla poem and his book reminded me of this

    Poetic Licence

    I am going to buy a poetic licence
    so I can write the fuck what I want
    for me No Iambic pentameter
    I don`t want to sound like a Kant

    Posted 2 years ago #
17. 

    sauce
    

    offline

    Member

    I wasn't going to give Quaz the pleasure, Jeni.
    Poetry is a lonely road. *sniff*

    Here's one of my favourite poets:
    http://www.benjaminzephaniah.com/content/304.php

    Was that oen of yours, arrghgarry?

    Posted 2 years ago #
18. 

    arrghgarry
    

    offline

    Member

    I am afraid so ,or as Rich Hall said the scariest food is potted meat ,because when he went into a deli in London ,the lady behind the counter (deli lady) said we are all out of potted meat ,...............I`m afraid.

    Posted 2 years ago #
19. 

    arrghgarry
    

    offline

    Member

    Sauce ,thanks for posting that ,never heard of him ,a great poem and video ,I wonder if he considered wrong TV or wrong Newspaper (for the poem)Especially for the Fox Network or a meglomaniacs newspaper

    Posted 2 years ago #
20. 

    Brenda SugarTits69
    

    offline

    Member

    @ sauce - great video poem...I guess it has to be "radio station" because it needs to be "listen to" because "listen to" can include the connotation of "paying attention to", "tacitly agreeing with" which you don't have with "watch" or "read"...

    Posted 2 years ago #
21. 

    arrghgarry
    

    offline

    Member

    Cheers Fergie ,well I guess there is a case where a similar effort can be made especially for TV .Does anyone watch Jon Stewart on line ? A TV sofa pundit suggest their jobs are similar to O bamas as they sometime have to react quickly to tense situations (like sacking a wartime commanding general ,and talking about Victoria beckhams 2nd dress change in a morning .

    Posted 2 years ago #
22. 

    Doctor Moptop
    

    offline

    Member

    The late great Hovis Presley had a Poetic Off Licence ...

    http://hovispresley.co.uk/some_poems.html

    Posted 2 years ago #
23. 

    arrghgarry
    

    offline

    Member

    Doctor ,thanks I like that nonsense ,I just watched him on youtube ,do you know how he died,he looks like a fat Adrian chiles.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTWlciLGJ5A

    Publish and be Damned

    Some say I should be published
    some say I should be damned
    An Editor asked to see my manuscript
    up my arse firmly rammed

    Posted 2 years ago #
24. 

    Doctor Moptop
    

    offline

    Member

    No, I don't, but I believe he was a sensitive soul.

    Poetic Off Licence is one of the best-selling poetry books of the past decade, without being stocked in any bookshop. Worth getting a copy if you can.

    Another top performance poet is the delightful Elvis McGonagall

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sQbj9DjSbI

    (Elvis is never disgruntled. Only talentless poets are disgruntled.)

    Posted 2 years ago #
25. 

    sauce
    

    offline

    Member

    I'll look out for Poetic Offlicence, Moptop.
    Not sure about that McGonagall - not madly keen on list type poems.

    How about a blast from the past ... back to '80s, Thatcher's Britain ...
    The Bard of Salford, John Cooper Clarke:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ezm-uJv1dEk
    http://www.johncooperclarke.com/
    Also famous for his his poem, "Twat" (on YouTube).

    And Adrian Mitchell, RIP:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hygXD9ATCaM&feature=related

    Currently, Matt Harvey is poet in residence at Wimbledon http://www.wimbledon.org/en_GB/news/blogs/Wimblewords.html
    and Jo Bell has just been poet in residence at Glastonbury
    http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/news/poems-from-our-poet-in-residence-06-26-2010-5-32-pm-56
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjx5HOmJsdw&feature=related

    Posted 2 years ago #
26. 

    arrghgarry
    

    offline

    Member

    Doctor Moptop was this threat in verse form ?

    would a threat in verse form be more or less of a threat ?

    Posted 2 years ago #
27. 

    Doctor Moptop
    

    offline

    Member

    That's what the Police Officer asked. "Did it rhyme?"

    It was more of a free verse threat. Particularly free with the expletives...

    Posted 2 years ago #
28. 

    arrghgarry
    

    offline

    Member

    You might have been a victim of the spoken word,seek counseling

    Posted 2 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.