Joe Billingham, 20, from Dorset, today tragically failed his first driving test.
Rather than making the standard complaints regarding examiner quality and weather conditions, Joe is choosing to criticise local development as the main catalyst for the failure.
'What would have really helped me, is if I had been given the option of practicing driving a real life car, instead of a cardboard box with milk bottle lids taped to the side’ says an irate Joe.
‘The invention of the wheel hasn’t reached us country folk yet, the first time I’d ever even seen a car was on my test date. It’s sick when you think about it, London are already abandoning the wheel in favour of high speed rail links to the North. Dorset is like the kid who just got a Wii for Christmas, when everyone else is already on to the XBox.’
An online petition, or ‘twitition’ calling for the widespread exportation of wheeled vehicles to Dorset has been set up this morning, and is gaining traction fast with over 10 people signing it in the first hour.
However Theresa Nutall, Joe’s examiner, was quick to defend the testing system.
'I can understand why Joe isn't happy with his result, but it really had nothing to do with his lack of wheel experience, unless you count the major he received for hitting a pheasant, and stopping in the middle of a roundabout to put it in the boot.'