Over the last couple of months the UK economy has seen steady growth of about 37p. Unfortunately all the good work looks set to be undone as people do absolutely nothing for a week between Christmas and the new year. George Osborne is now urging people to stop talking about the Christmas just gone and the New Year's Day to come and start doing some meaningful work.
'With Christmas falling mid-week this year most people will be back to work for just one day before the weekend, unless you are a politician of course,' Osborne said. 'Then after that it's just one day to New Year's Eve so most workers are just taking it easy and not continuing with the workhouse ethic we have instilled over the last three years. This lack of productivity will wipe out the 37p growth; it will be like the poor have suffered for no reason.'
Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls reacted to Osborne's outburst claiming everyone, not just them, deserves to take it easy every now and then. 'Working 51 weeks of the year then using Christmas as an excuse to take a well earned rest is like running the country for 13 years then bankrupting it so you can get time off. Everyone one will forgive you, especially if when you return to work you have invented a new hand gesture. Would you like to see it?'