I shall, as usual, be spending Christmas with family members whose company I enjoy, in their bright, cheerfully decorated, warm and comfortable home. They will prepare excellent, delicious meals and we will exchange delightful, thoughtfully-chosen presents which will be happily and gratefully received and appreciated.
The sun will shine on Christmas day and we may go for a walk around a local park where we will be able to watch young children (and probably their parents) playing with their new toys, and perhaps visit a cheerful, friendly pub to enjoy a well-kept and well-served festive pint.
Where did it all go wrong? I can't make satire out of that.