An extensive investigative journalism report has revealed that the ceiling of a threatre has collapsed.
Following significant and substantial investigative work, an exclusive interview with a number of witnesses who were present when the ceiling collapsed has confirmed that, yes, the ceiling had in fact collapsed. "The ceiling collapsed", said an eye witness, who was present when the ceiling collapsed. "The ceiling collapsed", said another eyewitness, who was also present. "The ceiling collapsed", said another person, who, again, was also present.
We spoke to an expert on theatre ceiling collapses this morning and he confirmed that all the evidence in the case seemed to point to the conclusion that the theatre ceiling had collapsed.
We had to fill up some more space so we asked some more people, who had once been to another theatre in 1994 to see Starlight Express, what they thought of the collapse of the theatre ceiling. "It's awful", said one of them. "It's awful", said another. "It's awful", said a third.
Has your ceiling ever collapsed? Have you ever been to a theatre? Do you think this tragedy was a tragedy? Do you maybe think the collapse was due to the obesity epidemic or maybe excessive immigration or paedophiles? We would like to hear your inane and ill-informed opinions on this matter immediately so that we can publish them as a story and avoid doing any kind of real work. Thank you.