Respected Telegraph journalist Andrew Gilliganas dragged from his bed in the early hours of yesterday morning. Neighbours said the incident was deeply shocking. They reported that the Gilligans front door was blown off in a controlled explosion, and tear gas was thrown into the house. Men in balaclavas then entered the house and dragged Gilligan out as his wife begged for mercy.
This morning, the Coalition Government confirmed that they had Gilligan, but refused to say where he was being held.
A Government spokesman said that Gilligan's investigative articles on HS2 were putting the future of the UK at risk. They said that emergency legislation would be introduced in the House today to enable them to hold Gilligan and other treacherous HS2 opponents indefinitely without trial.
The Prime Minister added that all Cabinet discussion on HS2 would now take place within COBRA, and no further information about HS2 would be made public until 2026.
Ed Milliband said the Labour Party supported the snatching of Gilligan, whose snooping on Government activities had gone on for too long. He also added that given the strategic importance of HS2, the use of COBRA for HS2 discussions was entirely appropriate