Following a political purge of staggering proportions, North Korea has removed itself from history.
The 24 hours of paranoia began with baby-faced psychopath Kim Jong-un playing judge and jury in a mass treason trial. Finding all 25 million inhabitants guilty of liking food and smiling occasionally, the Supreme Leader sentenced them all to an immediate execution.
To prevent himself - the only remaining North Korean - sympathising with oppositionist factions amongst the deceased, Kim then set about removing references to anyone who has ever lived in the communist state.
Out of necessity, he undertook this exhaustive task himself. After ten minutes, Kim had successfully censored all three of the country’s books, its one newspaper and a Daguerreotype due to be published on a website being launched in 2050.
But exposure to images of other people had poisoned Kim Jong-un’s mind. Placing himself on trial and finding himself guilty, Kim described himself as “despicable human scum, a perpetrator of nay, nay and thrice nay treason,and worse than the dog I ate last night.”