A wooden board painted with the words ‘be happy’, ‘always tell the truth’, ‘keep your promises’, ‘help others’, ‘say please and thank you’, ‘try new things’, ‘spread kindness’ and ‘count your blessings’ in a quirky yet endearing mixture of typefaces has changed Lincolnshire mother Margaret Robinson’s entire personality for the better, according to her teenage son who bought the hackneyed piece of timber for her as a birthday gift.
“Until recently mum was a miserable, lying, dishonourable, unhelpful, ill-mannered, over-cautious propagator of mean-spiritedness who took everything for granted,” fifteen-year-old Callum Robinson explained, “But that piece of wood has changed everything.”
"It was only twenty pounds," he added.
Despite one neighbour calling it “a primitive instruction manual for stupid people”, since receiving the gift Mrs. Robinson has spent much of her free time handing out twenty pound notes to passersby, grinning ceaselessly and leafing through a book entitled ‘learn to play the alpine horn’.
And with Christmas rapidly approaching Callum says he is planning to buy a ceramic representation of the word ‘cook’ from a local branch of Wilkinson’s in the hope that his mother “might finally figure out what the kitchen’s for and start making us some dinners.”
“Oh, and we could really do to have a big ‘shit’ in the bathroom as well.”