Police chiefs in Devon are considering their options as the siege of a residential property in Ottery St Mary passes the 48 hour mark.
The incident started on the evening of 9th December, when carol singers visited the home of retired residents Mr and Mrs Glendinning. Eyewitness Andy Porter, their next-door neighbour, explained ‘They started off perfectly innocently, if a little tunelessly if you ask me, with a rendition of We Wish You a Merry Christmas. They claimed to bring good tidings, but that was just a ruse to get Gordon and Audrey to open the door. They listened for a while, looking rather embarrassed as you do, but things started to get nasty when the carollers started demanding figgy pudding.’
Mr Glendinning, speaking on his mobile phone, barricaded in a back bedroom, continued the story: ‘We tried to explain that we didn’t have any figgy pudding, and weren’t really too sure what it even was, but they weren’t having any of it. They just kept repeating ‘Oh bring us some figgy pudding!’ and ‘We won’t go until we have some!’. We didn’t have any though. I offered to see if I could mix them up a cup of good cheer, which they also said they wanted, but that apparently wasn’t any good without the figgy pudding. What were we supposed to do?’
The police were called to the scene by concerned neighbours when it became apparent that the carol singers were refusing to leave. After initial attempts to persuade them to depart by offering them a Waitrose Heston Blumenthal Christmas pudding with an orange inside failed, Mr & Mrs Glendinning were advised to lock themselves in whilst a SWAT team was assembled outside. However, the carollers countered the move by beginning a non-stop medley of Christmas hits past and present. ‘There’s no way we can shoot anyone whilst they’re singing Away in a Manger or Fairytale of New York’ said Devon Constabulary's Mike Burgess. ‘Mind you’ he added, ‘as soon as they slip into Mistletoe and Wine they’re fucking dead!’