Contingency plans were being put in place today after concerns were raised about a possible repeat of the telephone failure which grounded planes earlier this week. Santa Claus, head of the Christmas drop operation, is speaking to telecommunications experts ahead of 24 December.
Claus, 82, stated, “This is a huge worry as my method of transportation involves flight. In these days of Health and Safety – no I won’t make a poor joke about Elf and Safety – I am compelled to liaise with Air Traffic Control which is no mean feat in any event given the amount of ground I cover. I predict riots if anything goes wrong. And they’ll make the riots of August 2011 look like a picnic. Looting? Pah! You mark my words!”
Members of the flight crew today seemed unperturbed by any potential problems. “He’s dealt with worse things. There’s always a no fly zone somewhere and it never seems to bother him. We’re always more concerned about DVTs, the poor standard of inflight entertainment and the breaches of the Working Time Directive but he never listens to us. Perhaps we should join a union and really give him something to worry about?"
Ryanair has denied launching a takeover bid for the Christmas drop.