Petrol stations up and down the country are preparing to cash in on the lucrative market of ‘last minute dad shopping’, by stocking-up on Cadbury’s Selection Boxes, dubious Peppa Pig merchandise and those really expensive chocolate Santa Claus figurines.
‘We make a killing on Christmas Eve’, claims Shell garage manager, Pete Stevens, who remains open throughout the festive period. ‘There are thousands of men who subconsciously delay Christmas shopping until the very last minute, and that’s where we step-in. It’s possibly our busiest time of the year after Valentine’s Day’.
Esso forecourt attendant, Nathan Hopper, who has assisted hundreds of desperate fathers on Christmas Eve over the last five-years, said; ‘It’s the same story every Christmas. We speak with these men in early December when they’re buying petrol. They always talk like they’re 'one step ahead' of the ‘mugs’ who are shopping in November. These are the same guys who are wobbling around the garage half-cut on Christmas Eve, frantically grabbing everything that contains cocoa, or just anything that has a picture of a reindeer on the front'.
He added; 'I've seen some men in a serious state of desperation and prepared to settle for anything, it's quite depressing. One guy last year bought his son three bars of Toblerone and a brake light for a Ford Fiesta. It's quite sad really, but at least his kid had something to open on Christmas morning'.
Father of four, Mike Davis, who last year underwhelmed his 10-year-old son with a large bottle of Coke Zero and some 2-stroke semi-synthetic engine oil, said, ‘I am determined not to let my kids down this year, so I’m heading to the Trafford Centre to do some serious shopping'.
He added; 'not this afternoon, though; it’ll be chaos down there, plus the cricket is on. I’ll probably just head over there next week when it’s quieter or something’.
Written by Jesus H, edited by Katewritesstuff