Government passes new bill to protect the rights of "Fascist Bastards".
An overwhelming majority vote in parliament today recognised that
"Fascist Bastardism" will not be tolerated in the UK. Police
and Armed forces have been ordered to uphold Zero Tolerance
toward any subject expressing hatred or dissent toward "Fascist Bastards".
It is known by all that the "Fascist Bastards" are an extreme minority within the UK
and as such the full force of Law and Order must be invoked to protect them,
their many mansions, swimming pools, Bentleys and Rolls Royce’s and Aston
Community Support officers have been instructed to randomly stop and search
anyone on the streets they suspect of "Fascist Bastardism" and immediately
handcuff and detain them for months or years without trial if they feel like it.
They have been informed that likely "Fascist Bastardists" may be wearing
blue or black jeans, shoes or trainers, shirts or jumpers and even coats.
In order to speed up the capture and detention of all "Fascist Bastardists"
a yet undisclosed bonus payment will be paid and funded via the benefits
sanctioning system. The armed forces and police have been specifically told
that subjects wearing nice Armani suits travelling in the back of limousines
are highly unlikely to be "Fascist Bastardists" and should be ignored.
The PM stated "We can and will do everything necessary to stamp out this
criminal Fascist Bastardism!"