The future of Britain’s seaside towns received a boost yesterday with the announcement by the national tourism agency, VisitBritain that freak wave fests are to head a list of new attractions.
Working in association with Alton Towers the Agency has revealed plans to turn economically challenged sea fronts into popular ‘dykes of death’ and ‘promenades of oblivion’.
Speaking at a recent trade fair in Grimsby, a spokesman for VisitBritain said, “The global showcasing of people enveloped by freak waves as they stand on our sea fronts has done wonders for Britain’s image around the world. The challenge now is to make sure that the millions who watched these incidents on their screens come to experience it first-hand.”
With freak wave fests fast becoming a national pastime for UK families and individuals it is hoped that foreign visitors will also be attracted to the UK’s coasts and estuaries. As a pedlar of near death experiences Alton Towers has been chosen to spearhead the campaign to breathe new life into UK seaside resorts.
Moves are now afoot to provide accommodation in the shape of balsa-wood beach huts just above tide level and to convert abandoned toilets and bus shelters into subaquatic chambers of death. Mark Davies, project manager at Alton Towers said, “We want our winter visitors to experience the fun of a complete immersion as part of their freak wave fest experience. Being picked up bodily and washed out into the North Sea is just one of the options we’ll have on offer.”
The programme will also lead to the creation of hundreds of jobs in resorts where there is normally a steep seasonal decline. Job seekers will be employed to stand along the sea front in force 10 gales to encourage visitor take up. “The work can be demanding but job seekers will have the benefit of a waterproof clothing allowance and will work on a two shift tidal pattern. We do however expect a high turnover of staff so payment will be just above the minimum wage to help candidates keep their heads above water.”