Nelson Mandela has passed away at the age of 95 to start a new chapter in his bid for equality, sorting out the mess that is Heaven. Mr Mandela has spent the best and worst years of his life fighting for equality in South Africa, but as a Christian he now faces a huge challenge of fighting for a similar equality as he gets released from the Earth and makes a historic walk through the pearly gates.
Mr Mandela has been close to release from this life for the last six months, but the deal was finally done on Thursday night. However, the ever positive former South Africa president explained his plans for eternity. ‘Jesus was probably black, or at least olive-skinned, but he was definitely not the pale white man often depicted in books,’ Mandela said in a speech at the gates to Heaven. ‘And as for the way you treat women, we have a lot of work to do. I shall take over from God, who looks amazingly like Morgan Freeman, at the helm for a while and see if we can’t do to this place what we did for South Africa.’
‘They said white and black people would never travel on the same bus, black people would never have the same level of education, and that a black man would never be president,’ Mandela continued. ‘But with the help of the people of South Africa we fixed those things, but getting the Churches to accept women bishops, now there’s a task.’
After 27 years in prison and ill-health plaguing the final years of his life, the eternal freedom Mandela has now been granted should come as a relief to the great man. But talking of his latest challenge he said: ‘Sorting out the equalities in Heaven is a bigger job than the one I did on Earth. I always said I would have a job for life, but as long as there are idiots running this place, I will have a job for death too.’
RIP Nelson Mandela