As Chinese toy manufacturers gear up for production of the David Cameron bendy doll (for domestic market only), the Honourable Member for Manchuria & Witney denied that his hairstyle, pronounced forehead, personal qualities, questionable election win & venal attitude to China were anything more than mere coincidences with America's 37th President, Richard Milhouse Nixon.
In a packed press conference, the PM stated; "You no ask that. I no Tlicky Dick. All people know Tony Brair one with taste for Chinese. You Ask my frien' Lupert Murdoch."
Mr Cameron went on to deny the bedroom tax was the thin end of a one-child policy before repeating his commitment to bring military forces back from Vietnam... Afghanistan.