Not to be mistaken with Hull "City for Cull 1984," or Hull "City of Vultures 2006," today bacteriologists,epidemiologists, biochemists and microbiologists of East Yorkshire broke out into a spontaneous outbreak of applause as they celebrated Hull being named UK "City of Cultures 2017" News of the award quickly went viral, being passed on from one blog site to the next in a highly infectious manner.
With the city by the Humber due to be placed well and truly under the microscope not everyone is jumping through flaming loops for joy. Local resident Penny Cillin said she would provide stiff resistance to attempts to introduce any form of culture to Hull, adding that she would rather be sterilised in a hot flame than allow the reputation of Hull to be smeared in this way.
"We have to stand up, speak our minds, raise our voices and stop being pseudo moaners"
The initial germ of an idea, sown by Euro MEP Petri Dish, was initially slow to ferment with various colonies across the city well and truly divided. A sudden unexpected growth of support was provided by Mr A.Gar, who dismissed Ms. P Cillin's rants by claiming she had a case history of being anti everything, anti immigration, anti Sunday shopping even anti biotics.
"To be honest I don't fancy 'er chances" said Mr A.Gar "In fact I think she's a gonner here"
Visitors from across the Pennines are advised to be thoroughly immunised before attempting any visit to prevent any (Frederik) Kock up