TV hardman Ray Winstone’s series of World Cup Betfair adverts has struck the fear of God into those who like the occasional flutter turning them into hardened gamblers, it has emerged.
The fear of losing one’s house and family to pay off gambling debts barely compares to that of having your head shoved into an overflowing sink then being thrown to the ground and repeatedly kicked in the ribs for failing to place a bet on Spain beating Chile 3-0, say most punters.
Family man and cab driver, Steve Wilshaw, used to bet once a year on a White Christmas prior to witnessing one of Winstone’s ads.
‘I’ve been an admirer of Ray’s work ever since his performance as Borstal Daddy ‘Carlin’ in Scum and am even prepared to consider the idea that Beowulf would have had a cockney accent. Well, during the half-time interval Ray explained to me in no uncertain terms that I would be very foolish not to place a bet on England beating Algeria by two goals to nil. Now I’m out of pocket by as much as two grand but that’s infinitely better than being twatted round the head with three snooker balls stuffed inside a sock by someone who clearly has a number of unresolved issues. ‘
Betfair and Ray have been accused by betting watchdog OFFBET of promoting irresponsible gambling with punters being offered odds on every statistic imaginable including first goal scorer, half-time score, most theatrical tantrum and the number of passes England can string together before giving the ball away.
Meanwhile viewers have claimed that Winstone’s intimidating style is scaring them into placing disproportionate bets on unlikely events such as the likelihood of the Germany versus Serbia game being interrupted by a marauding antelope - very attractive at 2000-1 .
Pipe fitter, Nigel Wilson, has been forced to sell his children to Betfair and claims he was seduced by Winstone’s working class accent and trusty down-to-earth manner which he found hard to reconcile with a global gambling empire designed to fleece money from the pockets of the poor, the desperate and the fucking stupid. But when pressed he admitted :
‘When Ray offered me odds of 10000-1 that Frank Ribery would be forced to fend off a lion whilst taking a corner kick against Uruguay, I found it difficult to say no to a twenty grand life-changing bet. Rather that than have him enquire as to whether I was carrying some sort of tool about my person before kicking seven varieties of living shit out of me .’
Winstone last night hit back at critics and encouraged punters to take up odds of 3-1 that Fabio Capello would finish the tournament with a vuvuzuela lodged so far up his anus as to render it unplayable’