Britons have reacted to Princess Anne’s suggestion that they consider eating horsemeat by saying, on balance, they’d rather eat Princess Anne.
Princess Anne made the suggestion to eat horses because it meant the horses would be better cared for and more valued. It seems people think the same logic could apply to eating Princess Anne and the other Royals.
“To be honest, a lot of the royals have let themselves go – Kate has grey hairs and may even be ageing” said long-time royal watcher Elsie Duggan. “And Princess Anne is just one of a number of scrawny Royals – you wonder what they feed them. Anything that encourages people to care for them more has my vote.”
For the idea to take off, Britons would have to get past the 'squeamish' factor of eating Royals. Surveys show that while many people (mostly men) would consider nibbling Kate, not many feel comfortable eating her.
But as food expert Miles Anour points out, while the idea of eating the Royal family seems foreign to the British, it is considered normal in France.
“It’s really a cultural thing” said Anour. “The French have been eating Royals since 1789 – they even invented a machine to efficiently chop them up.”
“You have to go back to Oliver Cromwell’s day to find examples of Royal eating in England, but it wasn’t that popular, probably because of a lack of suitable condiments. I’m sure if Royal meat was marketed properly, and Jamie Oliver came up with some tasty recipes involving lots of garlic and basil, it could really take off.”
The suggestion that they be eaten caused mixed reaction among the Royals. Most preferred the traditional approach of eating peasants rather than be eaten by them, but Prince Philip said it was a tremendous wheeze.
“Ha ha – ‘eat the Royals’ – why didn’t I think of that? It’s a great idea as long as everyone eats home grown British Royals rather than that foreign muck from Greece.”