Boris Johnson has today used a marathon string of cryptic non-sequiturs in a call for drastic action to rid the city of london of a plague of cyclists.
"Our glorious city is becoming overwhelmed by the velocipede horde. From the Metropolitan idyll of queuing in Kew to London's elysian fields of London Fields, the bicycles are a plague of locus and we all need to do our bit to eliminate them." He implored, from a soapbox in Hyde Park.
"This pedalled menace is peddling delay - clogging up the city's arteries, stopping the flow of traffic to the vital organs of Threadneedle Street and Whitehall. It's a wheely big problem and so I'm ringing the bell for Dr Pavlov.
No no I don't want to be Prime Minister, really, I'm happy to support (ignore) David Cameron until he's so unpopular that people would rather have me. The super internet superhighway supercedes the cycle superhighway, however high you skyride.
"Don't wait for the Boris bus drivers to do it for you. It's up to every one of us. Turning left, turning right, it doesn't matter. Don't bother Bodger the badger, let's cull the bicycle!"
BoJo in mixed-metaphor call for cyclist cull
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Boris Johnson has today used a marathon string of cryptic non-sequiturs in a call for drastic action to rid the city of london of a plague of cyclists.Posted 1 year ago #
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