Staff at an East London Call Centre, bored with standard phonetics and customers that know it, invented their own newer version based on good ol' cockney rhyming slang. However, following excessively long phone calls leading to missed performance targets, management have called for the idea to be scrapped.
"Simpull, ayn it" said one of the disappointed call handlers Paul Morris.
"For example, A is Jack Jones, R is Airs and Graces, S is Apples and Pears, and E is Ham and Cheesy. What could be bright and breezier than that?"
Management at the call centre were unavailable for comment, as they were too busy trying to translate the staff's overtime expense forms.
Hat tip to Jesus H